so this year

well lets look at what would be nice to do in this year

i want to..travel...lots of three day weekends...i want to just travel around

and i want to meet people...i'm not sure how..but i want to meet a prostitute, a self made entrepreneur, an actor, a gay, a politician and a hacker...yeps thats it...simple list

since the relationship thingy looks dicey...might seek out a fuck buddy, a domme, a sub...not sure about this one...but since this is the year of being radical...well...why not (oh and btw...the ppl shortlisted for love are not elligible for the platonic categories...no baby...no easy way out for u)

and i want to write one book, make one movie (that handycam variety...i have great many satirical comedy ideas), make one piece of wood work...also the tiramisu is pending from last year...neone how do i make cream cheese from malaee plz...

amongst the gross things...i have this pee fixation...have to do it off a tall building or a hill top...there were two extremes...the ocean is already covered...now the tall one

'i posted and came back to edit...if i can get a lil more physically in shape...i would like to model for one of those art colleges...evidently those poor buggers dont get enough people...how sad is that

and while we are at it...i totally missed out on how rishikesh and haridwar are gonna be my fav tourist spots this year...gilli baba wants to meditate peacefully...this will also be the year of spirituality'

oh and professionally...i will read up like crazy on all things about HR, go for one external training...and really kick some ass in terms of work output...

oh plus i want to try my hand at one of those reality shows...not the talent type ones...coz err...i have none (that i can display that is)...but like the apprentice thing or the roadies or something...

and last but not the least (oh btw if i miss nething out...i can always come back and add more :D )...is to make many many more random frnz...and spread more miles of smiles... :)

What if

What if, when u finally got free from work..u called but no one answered...what if the choice had been simple but...u were late

As the year ends...i urge you to take a pause...and wonder what your priorities are in life...

for most things that we take for granted are the ones we care about most...but realize it only when they are gone...but then u can do nothing about it

pause now...take a look...for most of us our lives aren't ruined by a terrorist from outside...most families get destroyed by themselves

Praying for happiness for each one of you wonderful people out there...

may god be with u...happy new year :)

if only i couldn't write this post

heading towards my friends reception in goregaon...the auto wallah got challaned by the police for jumping a red light (no i hadn't asked him to)...which surprisingly made him drive even more rash...

and no i didnt stop him...infact i hoped that at one of his dangerous maneuvers he would misjudge the breaks or somebody else would not react in time enough

and i wouldn't have to write this post

no i'm not contemplating suicide...this ain't hero heeralal
let me put it this way if i were in a hold up
i would fight the robber cause that's the correct thing to do
fight against injustice
but if he managed to pull a gun on me and press the trigger...
i wouldn't dodge the bullet

every day people get up and well some of them have something to look forward to
i don't...
i don't find diwali joyful
i could really count the number of times in the year that i have laughed
i am those of the generation who are lost
i exist for the responsibilities i have...

of a man in debt (education loan)
of a son
of existence (having consumed the world's resources for 26 years)

i must repay my debt...so that i can be a free person...unbound and unjudgeable

funnily u know there are drugs that can stop these thoughts...i know since i've taken them at one point of time...legally

but i don't want to...cause these thoughts are what make me...

the best murder mystery and i am hoping at least this is something i am first at...
is where the author...plots his own death

Happy new year everyone...see u on the other side


(p.s. don't get hyper...like i said i'm not doing a hero heeralal)

a bit of conversation

Lumin: i dont usually put my picture to any of my profiles btw.. :P

MystiqueW: how scared are u of the world

Lumin: :P
i am not worried about the world.... :P

MystiqueW: but u r afraid of it

Lumin: why???

MystiqueW: well ask ureself...why do u never put ure foto up on any of ure profiles

Lumin: because i dont do that....

MystiqueW: we know the 'what'...its the 'why' thats more interesting

Lumin: htat's your new status msg..... :P

MystiqueW: i thought it was interesting enuf for tht

Lumin: :)
good... :P

MystiqueW: that doesnt mean u can skip the question

Lumin: :P well....
i am much of a back stage person.. i dont like coming on stage... i like doing the things like directing or creating etc....

MystiqueW: have u seen a flower?

Lumin: yup.. why??

MystiqueW: u see how it has petals outside
and deep inside is the stemen...with the seeds\\

Lumin: yup...

MystiqueW: logic is like that...
u start with statements
and then u question those
till u reach the depth

Lumin: hm.. i dont get your point...

MystiqueW: so ure first reaction to my why is like the outermost petals of the flower
u must keep questioning those
to know ureself better
like why do u like to be back stage
and then another why
and then another

Lumin: :) hm... nice...

MystiqueW: another name for truth is silence...when there are no more questions left
its also called meditation

Lumin: and i got a why too... :P why does that interest you???
ok...
MystiqueW: why does this world interest me?
its a beautiful piece of art...which i'm a part off
i'm just trying to appreciate it better

Lumin: :) ok.. that's very poetic.. :)

MystiqueW: :)

Lumin: :)

Lumin is one of the many people i meet randomly on the net and end up talking too

duur hai tu

koi toh wajah hogee ki tu abhi tak mere aahosh mein naee
koi toh wajah hogee ki tu phir chup sahee

ae khuda, ab kya tujhe paane ke liye
khudaa se hi baat karni padegi

A deeper sound

even at this 'grown up' age
there are times when i feel
helpless and lost
when my strengths seem missing
and my weaknesses are playing their cards
in those moments of agony
i look forward to hearing a sound
a sound that will tell me everythings gonna be ok
and even though i have never heard that sound
i have felt u do things for me
and said here is the chance u had asked me for
now show me what u can do and make me proud
and though i have faltered almost everytime
even on those
it seems you haven't given up on me
thanks for being the confidence i dont have
thanks for being the deeper sound that i can't hear

addendum

..."i miss u"...three words from her...three words i've been waiting to hear for weeks now...all it took to put me out of misery...

we spend our live times thinking about work, about world, about the bills we are going to pay...but the one thing what matters the most to us...our happiness...we take for granted...whilst that is what should get a fair share of attention...make the people who make u happy...happy...after all its their smile which will be seen on ure lips