trysts with trust

trust is a very dicey thing...its like setting up yourself to trip. I've written about various aspects of trust earlier also. Today i cover another aspect...the basis for trusting...

while to a certain extent trust is a matter of risk appetite, trust is also a matter of logical deductions. The whole thing of why you would trust one person with your credit card details and not another.

First let me supply some credentials...i make and reject friends on the net, trains...anywhere. My credit card has been used by many diff people at diff points of time, i've had million $ worth of software code on my personal comp at a given point of time...etc etc

so when i say i know about trust i'm not exactly speaking from the back of my pants

Coming to the funda of logical deductions...what are these logical deductions, its the combined derivative analysis of words, demonstrated actions, situations and inherent play of emotions.

Lets take each of these in part and then in whole:

words: trust me, i love you, it'll be done, it won't happen again

Demonstrated actions: did the person do what he said, did the person do beyond what he promised, did the person undergo an inconvenience in favor of u, were the actions of no personal benefit to that person, when taken a step forward did the person reciprocate

situations: was there a possibility of reasonable doubt, could the situation be considered ambiguous, were there unbiasable evidences to point towards some conclusion

inherent play of emotions: greed, lust, fear. These three can color your own vision as well as that of the person being thought of. In down times or dicey times its usually not the strongest person who will last with you but someone who is not afraid to lose, does not suffer from greed or does not lust; which ofcourse never happens...so you need to figure out what that person has greed for, what that person lusts for and what that person fears.

And when you think of all these...together u will be able to logically deduce...what needs to be logically deduced.

An important aspect which could easily slip from your thought, that in all this you are judging the person...not as to how that person is...but there trustability...but u still are judging and one must be conscious of this fact...

while i have given all this gyaan...i've basically seen two kinds of people...people who trust easily and people who find it very hard to trust and its mostly based on their own fears than about the people around them...

so after all this piece of useless information which you can't use...i leave you with one nice link

world's top ten con men

in god we trust...everybody else pays cash

remember the time u learnt swimming...and the instructor after the initial few sessions took the class to the deep end of the pool and said jump...and we were like...wtf!!! and he said trust me...

or the time u learnt cycling...

the first trek where ure buddy said...trust me...i'll take u thru...u won't fall or get lost...

remember the times...when that trust was shaken...by your parents, friends, god...

ok now imagine this...think of a person..u believe u trust...imagine now that u r in some kind of ransom situation and a bomb went off and the money bag is in ure hand...and pistol has come in the hands of the person u believe u trust...and then u see him point it towards u...what thoughts come in ure mind?

trust is a very dicey thing...it essentially means believing in someone...when all the evidence points agaist that person...

i remember once as a kid...my mom didnt let me go cycling one evening coz it was windy and dusty...and i cried (ok i was small...though i still do get wet eyes sometimes)because i was like why am i being persecuted...all i wanna go is cycling and later when the dust storm had died out...she said now u can go and i was like two hours are already wasted...whats the use now...

why did i cry...had i believed myself that the dust storm was really pretty serious i would myself have ducked under the bed (yes i'm like that :P )...but i didn't and i didn't trust my mom's judegement at that time...

trust is a very funny thing...luckily through childhood and early experiences and lot of pondering...i've come to now easily recongnize ppl i trust and ppl i don't...and it's not that the ppl i dont trust are bad ppl (villains of the movie)...its just that i don't believe i can trust them to be honest with me...thats why i make frnz (and foes) very easily...be it in a party, a train journey, orkut...

there's also a lil bit of science to it...but let that be

the problem about trust is...it can get broken also...it can be because u made an assumption...it could be because the person did break ure trust...

and the worse thing is...it really hurts when u trust someone and they break ure trust...

but just as u don't stop breathing if u get a bout of tuberculosis...ok too severe..a bad cough and cold...same way u can't stop trusting

its a subconscious thing...even if u feel u r not trusting...u trust the milk co. to make the right powder for ure kids...u trust ure driver with ure life...

there are things where one should avoid keeping things on trust...like when someone gives u a bundle of notes...u should count it...because if u take it on trust...and by mistake a note fell short...or got extra...and neither of u came to know till later one of u did...and then u will never know what happened....and the trust will get broken...

othello (omkara) is about the same thing...make things as explicit as u can if there's a possibility to do that...and where u can't...well...then u gotta trust...just like u gotta breathe

oh btw...that ransom scenario...probably that person has the gun to shoot u...probably its to shoot the villain standing behind u...who knows ;)