Thursday, May 29, 2008

Principles of Seduction

While the title clearly states the intention some of these principles stand good when we discuss things like making friends or impressing your boss.

Visibility
This is probably the first and most crucial step. The person you are trying to seduce has to know you exist, in clearer terms your face if not name must be familiar to her. If she's in your class of friend circle or dance group or office or your building its relatively easy for that to happen. If you happen to have your sights on somebody like in the next office building or the other section or worse in a senior or junior class visibility becomes an issue. For school or college going people the solution is simpler than for rest...become more active in the institutes activities. For working people common hangout areas is a good way of trying to achieve visibility.

Introduction
This is the step where boldness needs to intermingle with strategy. One needs the right setting to say the first hi, sometimes...most times, if the person is not connected to you through professional or personal circles one would need to artificially create that setting. The setting must be such that a hi seems almost normal. Yet this is one place despite all the right setting one would get cold feet and there nothing other than self belief comes handy. (It also helps the hi sound normal which otherwise can sound like one is having a heart attack).

An introduction is of no use if it doesn't lead to further opportunity of conversation, either by phone, further meetings or even social networking sites.

Milestone
By now we have reached the stage from strangers to aquaintances.

Opinion Building
The next part comes where you need to make the person see you in positive light. The whole aim is to become from a familiar sight to familiar thought.

Myth
Braun, money or looks are what sink women.
That is a very shallow understanding of people. while these have a very positive effect on anybody I believe that it is the fun part of being with the person that incline or disincline people towards you. This is where your talents, interests and persona work for or against you. What the other person is really looking for is that do you add to their life or subtract from it. And it is in the early stages only where one must investigate what excites the other person and then build your case around it.

Safety Tip and My Principle
It is also at this point that one must find out if the person is available or not. Given that these days people get into light or deep relationships right around when they leave kindergarden it goes to say that there is a high probability of you mingling with someone who is alreay been taken. It is a safety tip to around this time find out whether the other person is available or not.

While it is to the readers discretion to agree with my principle or not I do firmly believe that one must not make a move upon a person who has already been taken even though one at that time may firmly believe that this is the one, if that really is so...leave it to providence. It is not for a gentleman to raise his eye on someone else's affections, like it is for a gentleman to thwart an attempt of someone else raising his eye on their affections.

I do also believe that while one may begin with a very prejudiced motive one must not look at seduction from a very narrow view point. Seduction is only an attempt to convert a stranger into an aquaintance who likes you. It does not in any manner reflect the nature of the relationship so formed. I believe if man (human being) became more social and less isolated it would make for a more caring world. And so it is our duty to try wherever possible to build positive relationships whether they be friendly, romantic or even brotherly (or in case of senior people paternal).

Making the Move
The next barrier is when we know the person likes us, thinks positively of us but we are not sure of the extent. Taking the relationship from friendship to romantic relationship is a very crucial step. the cliched arm over the chair move in cinema halls is actually a very nice and innocent move. (Sometimes like it happened to me, the girl might mention that she is feeling cold or scared making it totally natural to do the arm thing)

However beyond that when we talk of physical intimacy unless you want to risk getting slapped and thought lowly off I prefer to not make a direct move but bring intimacy into the conversation and get the other person's view points. Once you have judged the other person's comfort levels it is for you to make half the move, let it be an invite and let the other person come in and grab it (quite nicely detailed by Will Smith in the first kiss scene of Hitch)

Caution
Physical intimacy more often than not can be construed as a implicit commitment. Hence if you are not making a commitment it would be gentlemanly to check with the other on their understanding of the situation

And the last principle to sum up the article

Seduction is not Love
You may have seduced the other person but it does not mean they are in love with you...attracted yes, love who knows. And this I say because the seduction activity works mostly on the basis of showing ones best side, and love mostly means accepting the whole package. And since seduction might result in a romantic relationship there is a great deal of risk involved. And hence i strongly recommend that having made reasonable progress on the seduction aspect, if one is seeking a long term relationship to make sure the person knows your quirks as well as your positives and vice-versa you should know the other person in and out.

These principles of seduction more often than not are needed when there are hinderances in the natural flow of things. In general one would prefer if love happened as naturally as breathing :)

5 comments:

Macadamia The Nut said...

Jeeezus!!
Did you actually write this? I only glanced but I realized that it deserves more than a cursory read. So gonna go have lunch now and come back and read.

Macadamia The Nut said...

I though you were kidding at first
:O

Benaam Badnaam said...

well now u know :P

ravisha said...

you seriously NEED to talk it out with a girl...thats just your side of planning...girls have different strategies!!

loved your blogs..

Benaam Badnaam said...

@Ravisha...

yeah...have been getting a lot of inputs on girly strategies from various corners...but didn't feel it right to make it a part of my blog...better justice would be done to the subject by a lady blogger...